DWTS X LUCIFER

 

DWTS X LUCIFER

Listen; Lucifer may have jumped the shark in its final season but that musical episode revealed the untapped potential of its characters. Dancing with the Stars is stressing me OUT during season 34, so let's escape into some fictional musings, shall we?

CHARACTER: LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR

PRO: CHERYL BURKE 

Lucifer's arrogance and intensity could only be reeled in by a strict, old-school pro like Cheryl. Having experience managing difficult partners, I think she will do an excellent job keeping him focused on week-to-week growth. Her high expectations are exactly the kind of motivation he needs to fulfill his true potential, and she would appreciate his drive to win. Their Argentine tango would definitely be one for the books. 

CHARACTER: AMENADIEL FIRSTBORN

PRO: BRITT STEWART

I could lie to you and say I did this for height reasons, but let's be real: they're my favorites on their respective shows, and you can't tell me these two wouldn't be the most stunning couple on the dance floor. A hardworking, goodhearted team who are competitive but always play fair and maintain their humility along the way. Amenadiel definitely gives more of a classic ballroom guy, but I think Britt can break him out of his shell for the Latin styles. 

CHARACTER: ELLA LOPEZ

PRO: BRANDON ARMSTRONG

Ella clearly has the ability to dance well but her two biggest crutches are getting overexcited, and crumbling under her own insecurity. She needs someone who can play off that energizer bunny energy and also help her refocus when she gets down on herself. Brandon knows when to be serious, when to be encouraging, and when to deploy a well-timed joke, making him the perfect partner to balance out Ella's moods. I can also see her and Brandon's wife Brylee getting along like a house on fire!

CHARACTER: DAN ESPINOZA

PRO: EMMA SLATER

Emma has said she prefers partners with charisma over a ringer with ballroom experience, and I think her sunny, encouraging personality would be a good fit for Dan. Her usual strategy is to play to her partner's strengths in order to win the audience's hearts, which I think would help Dan feel comfortable with the more difficult parts of learning ballroom. I think he would also be a positive surprise when it comes to showing a more debonair side of himself during slower dances like the waltz or the rumba (Emma's specialty).

CHARACTER: MAZE
PRO: DANIELLA KARAGACH 

Daniella has mentioned wanting a female partner but hasn't had the chance to fulfill that yet; now is the time! Maze would definitely want the partner with the highest ballroom pedigree in order to have the highest chance of smoking her competitors, and Daniella is experienced in choreographing creatively to maximize a nonconventional partner's best qualities (although historically for her it's been a wild height difference rather than a same-sex partnership). Unlike the last time there was a female-female couple on the show, I get the vibe Daniella would do more than just have the taller partner lead and play the "male role" the whole time. Their inventive, complex dances would draw a lot of attention (and lots of audience votes as a result).  

CHARACTER: CHLOE DECKER

PRO: VAL CHMERKOVSKIY 

I think these two would have a no-nonsense, professional partnership devoid of any showman rumors or drama. Chloe would be able to hold her own against Val's sarcasm and tough teacher attitude, and I think he would appreciate and respect her work ethic and dedication to improvement. Also, we all know the Hot Tub High School fans would be voting in spades, so Val would probably be banging down Deena Katz's door in the hopes of riding those coattails to the finale. 

CHARACTER: LINDA MARTIN 

PRO: PASHA PASHKOV  

I don't know if Linda would be a natural dancer but she seems like he would find the competition structure very anxiety-inducing even if she was doing well. A calm, chill partner like Pasha is exactly what she needs to prevent unnecessary stress. Pasha's traditional ballroom choreography honors the assigned style, rather than trying to get attention by being flashy or "faffing about" (as the late Len Goodman said), which I think would help Linda build confidence week-to-week. 

CHARACTER: CHARLOTTE RICHARDS

PRO: ALAN BERSTEN 

Charlotte and Alan would be one of those pairs on the show that fly under the radar with classic, well-executed choreography and then BAM--they pull out a simmering tango or a saucy salsa and knock your socks off. Alan is the type of pro that tends to showcase his partner rather than himself, which works well with Charlotte's ability to command attention. Charlotte also has that graceful, magnetic energy that the judges tend to love (see: Lea Thompson, Melora Hardin, Monica Aldama), earning high scores.