Actor-y Things Re: Jane Eyre

It's the last weekend of performances for Jane Eyre, and I'm feeling super emotional about that. Although I didn't need to write a senior project blog for my journey playing this character like I did in college, I have been chronicling the process in a draft post for this blog. I was debating on whether to not to post it, and finally decided to do so. Some may find it boring, but the "work" of acting is the most fun thing in the world to me, so I wanted to share my thoughts/process anyway. :)

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR Jane Eyre AHEAD!

Mr. Rochester 

A really important question for me to answer in order to understand this character was when does Jane fall in love with Rochester? The romance is a major part of the production, but Jane and Rochester don't have many romantic moments before they confess their love to one another (unless you count throwing a vase of water on someone to save them from a fire or toppling someone from their horse and then running away as romantic gestures of course). Jane also needs to fall for Rochester first, if the script is to be believed. So, I decided that she had to fall for him at some point during their tea conversation. Jane is not the "love at first sight" type, as she is extremely practical, meaning there were probably several small moments where she found herself attracted to Rochester. Once those feelings built up on one another, they became romantic. So, going through the scene, I found several moments that, when put together, would form a romantic attachment for her:

• When Rochester asks for Jane's opinion when he says "Don't you think I have a right to be a little masterful?" and waits to hear her answer --> no one has ever cared about her opinion before
• When Rochester asks if she will not be hurt by his tone of command (which proves, as she says herself, that he is kind enough to care whether a dependent is comfortable). --> After watching him go on and on about how he doesn't care about others and finds his young ward so annoying, this moment is when Jane realizes that a lot of his personality is just bravado, which interests her
• When Rochester says she is ugly but her bewildered look becomes her --> She's just insulted him by telling the truth that she thinks he's ugly, and she is concerned that he will be angry or mean in response. But instead, he responds in the same way: he doesn't lie and call her pretty, but he still compliments her appearance, which she's never received from anyone before 
• Also, despite his feigned annoyance, his ward Adele adores him. As the child's governess, Jane loves Adele, so her stamp of approval means something. 

Jane is also a nurturing soul, so any hint of vulnerability on Rochester's part definitely draws her in. There is a part of the scene where Rochester explains that he loved Adele's mother, but she cheated on him despite how well he treated her. After this scene, Mrs. Fairfax also tells Jane about Rochester's difficult past (how he tried "every way he could" to please his father but was always second best, how he no longer has any family, etc). These two moments are important for Jane + Rochester's relationship because Jane herself has always tried so hard to earn the love of others but has never received it, and also has (or so she believes) no family. By connecting her own experiences to those of Rochester (whom she views as more worldly, intelligent, and experienced), Jane feels that she understands him on an emotional level. This combined with what she perceives to be his kindness to her/interest in her opinions is what leads her to fall for him despite his curmudgeonly and sarcastic nature.

Reacting to Trauma

An aspect of the character that I felt was important was mapping Jane's trauma and finding the layers of emotion there. For the first half of Act I, Jane is reliving her childhood without actually being a part of it. I had to figure out what Jane's triggers would be and find levels of emotion during these moments without stealing focus. One challenge for me while watching back the past was finding a balance between reliving the trauma and reacting to it with new knowledge (or, in some cases, the desire to reparent Jane's inner child). For example, during the scenes with Helen, the Adult Jane who is watching knows Helen will die. Another example is when Young Jane finally stands up to Mrs. Reed--while Young Jane feels completely justified in her assertion that Mrs. Reed is a bad woman and she will never come to visit her when she grows up, Adult Jane has already forgiven her aunt and regrets her harsh words. Yet, Adult Jane also feels angry and conflicted in that moment because she has to relive the cruelty she suffered at the hands of her aunt.

Physicality

Physicality is an element of acting that I struggle with, as I am not very in touch with my own body. Exercising more frequently over the past two years has helped a bit, and I wanted to challenge myself to focus on Jane's physicality.

One thing I really wanted to communicate through physicality was Jane's growth as she gains confidence at Thornfield and later at Marsh End. There is one line where Jane says that her friend taught her "how to quiet my passions, and to be content" while at school, meaning Jane comes to Thornfield intending to hide her passions, but she is instead allowed to express them. Additionally, she states while traveling to Thornfield that "the throb of fear became predominant" over what she might find there. I took that to indicate that Jane should be more hesitant when she meets Mrs. Fairfax, because she doesn't know if they'll treat her well (as she only accepted the job because it was her only acceptance and she wanted to leave Lowood School).

When Jane is a student at Lowood School, she and the other girls there are required to assume the "Lowood pose", with their hands clasped in front of them. I decided to employ that pose when Jane is reliving her past at Lowood (except when Helen dies) and during her early days at Thornfield, when she is still in that subservient phase. I wanted there to be a moment where she is at Thornfield that she officially leaves that pose behind, and with it her trauma at Lowood. Deciding when to stop assuming that pose took a few tries, but I eventually decided to make it the scene where Mr. Rochester shakes her hand for the first time, to show the impact his influence has on her as a person.

I also attempted to show Jane's growth through her general body language: have her looking at the floor, folding her arms, etc. in the beginning of her journey, and then contrasting that with more open posture, stronger eye contact, and bigger (freer? I don't know the right word) hand motions once she's become an independent woman. Most of this was inspired by our director Amy's blocking--Jane rarely initiates intense physical contact with Rochester, as he is her employer and she keeps their interactions more appropriate, whereas she feels free to hug St. John upon realizing they are cousins.

Vocality 

GUYS I FINALLY REMEMBERED HOW TO Y-BUZZ. Thank goodness, because it has made what has turned out to be 3 hours of talking so much less stressful than before. My voice hasn't been tired or strained, which is such a blessing. I have been making a point to hydrate before shows and to get my daily dose of vitamin C as well (what a health goddess I know) so I think that's helping also!
For those who have no idea what "Y-buzz" means, it's an Arthur Lessac technique I learned in college that helps with keeping your voice from going shrill, prevents you from straining your voice, and can aid in projection. 10/10 would recommend! Sometimes my voice sounds kind of raspy when I'm doing a particularly emotional scene (i.e either the love confession at the end of Act I or the breakup in the middle of Act II) but I haven't had any pain or straining during those moments, so I think it's just the emotions affecting the way my voice sounds?

Regarding the accent, Ashley (who plays four roles in the show as well as being our dialect coach) helped me so much! The only words I find I have consistent trouble with now are "ask" and "past" but as long as I focus I can usually avoid saying them incorrectly.


Jane's Faith

Jane's faith is also an extremely important topic because I think it is her faith that allows her to fight so hard for her own happiness. When she says "I care for myself. I have a worth to myself, so I have always believed",  she is rejecting all the people who said she was too poor or too stupid or too ugly to be loved. For someone who has lived through so much trauma, that is a pretty powerful statement. Jane is a very devoted Christian, and I think that has a lot to do with her determination to love herself despite others withholding that love from her. Here are a few Bible verses/stories that I think she would take to heart:

• “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30  
• “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” -Romans 5:1-5  
• “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” -Joshua 1:5  
• “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” -1 Peter 3:3-4  
• "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." -Song of Solomon 4:7
• “God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” -Psalm 46:5
• “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.  My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” -Psalm 28:7 
• “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” -Luke 1:45  
• “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9  
• The story of Ruth and Naomi (and by extension Boaz) 

OTHER THINGS

Over the course of the process, it became very clear to me that what Jane wants most is a family/home. Not just to be loved, but to love someone (as she puts it, "to live for and with what I love best on this earth"). At the beginning, Jane wants to be loved so desperately, yet she has built a wall of protection around herself. To communicate this, I wanted her to really relish the word "home" on her final few lines: "Let me take you home" and "We will go home".

Another question I had was: how does Jane feel about Bertha? Does she hate her, is she scared of her, does she pity her? This may be a controversial stance, but I think Jane feels very sympathetic towards Bertha when she realizes that she has been trapped in the attic all this time. Yes, she now knows Bertha is dangerous, but she identifies with her because seeing her trapped reminds her of being trapped by her aunt in the Red Room. That is why she steps away from Rochester when he reaches out to her in that moment--because she doesn't understand how he could do that to someone. (Also I always try to make eye contact with Collette, who plays Bertha during that scene, and seeing the pain in her eyes breaks my heart as Jane). 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I first read the book version in high school, I found it dark and depressing. I didn't connect with Jane at the time, but after getting to know her more deeply through this production, I can safely say I have grown to love her. I admire her dedication to her faith, her forgiving nature, how deeply she cares for her friends/students, and how she continues to fight for her own happiness despite everyone telling her she is too ugly or poor or stupid or useless to deserve it. I hope someday I get to revisit this character again. <3