There Are No Rules.

I am the type of person who thrives in an environment where there are strict regulations about what is right and what is wrong. I was not always like this...in fact, as a child I actually tended to reject authority: when we were supposed to recite the pledge of allegiance in school, I would stand there without speaking instead, and I am still surprised that I made it through grade school music class considering I 100% refused to learn how to play the recorder just because I hated that we were being forced to. But as I have gotten older, my insecurity about being what people expect me to be has consumed me, and I am no longer the rebel I once was (lol).

It's hard for me to do anything without first thinking about how it will be received by others: how I dress, what my hair and skin look like, the words I use, what volume I speak at, what I post online, what choices I make in my personal and professional life, etc.

Lately, however, I have been trying to apply a new motto to my life in an attempt to free myself from (some of) my insecurity: There are no rules.

Now, this is not entirely true. There are some rules, like "brush your teeth every night before bed" and "don't be racist" and "take turns while playing Candyland". Regarding the major aspects of our lives, there are rules because we need structure as human beings and there are genuine ways to behave/treat each other that are right and are wrong. But when it comes to the smaller parts of life that focus on the relationship you have with yourself, the way you treat yourself, and the way you pursue your own happiness (all of which are just as important), I think we've created a lot of rules where there are none. I know I have.

So, here are some spaces in life where there are no rules:

• There is no rule that says you can't eat the same thing for dinner every night for a week
• There is no rule that you can't spend the money on Starbucks even though $5 for coffee is "insane" 
• There is no rule that you can't wear red lipstick without doing the rest of your makeup on a day you're breaking out
• There is no rule that you can't like K-pop or Hallmark movies or pumpkin spice or plain black coffee or Crossfit or emo music or Nickelback or One Direction 
• There is no rule that you have to look pretty or even just presentable (whatever that means on your own terms) when you go out of the house
• RELATED: there is no rule that you have to look "good" (whatever that means on your own terms) for anyone but yourself 
• RELATED: there is no rule that you cannot put in the effort to look "good" (whatever that means on your own terms) whenever you want to, even if whenever you want to means every time you leave the house
• There is no rule that you can't replay the same song 40 times in a row and listen to only that song for a while because you're really feeling it right now 
• There is no rule that you have to be happy (or "content") about being single 
• BUT there is also no rule that you have to want to date or have sex or get married or have children at all
• There is no rule that you need to get (or even want to get) the highest grades or the biggest role or the highest-paying job or the position with the most recognition/clout
• There is no rule about what counts as "success" 
• There is no rule that you can't be angry or upset or disappointed or devastated and call those feelings "earned" instead of "overdramatic"
• There is no rule that you have to know all the words to a song to like it 
• There is no rule about how many selfies you can post on Instagram (or how often you do it)
• There are no rules about body hair or acne or birthmarks or scars or stretch marks or cellulite or wrinkles beyond the rules you make for yourself (and if you decide that you want your skin to look as smooth and unblemished as a seal and put in the energy/work to achieve that, all power to you)
• There are no rules about how much you should talk, or talking only about one thing because you're fixated on it, or not talking very much/not at all because you don't feel like it
• There is no rule about how your eyebrows should look
• There are no rules about what should/shouldn't make you happy or fulfill you

I'm still taking notes about what other rules I've made up in my head that aren't real. I will let you know what they are as I unlearn them. <3